There was a point after having Avery that I realized if I just accepted that I was never going to be a perfect mom, a perfect anything, that I could get through life with much less stress, much less anxiety and much less frustration. I’m sorry new moms; I can’t quite pinpoint when this happened though I know it did. Yet despite that aha moment I do still aim for perfection only to be reminded that, wait for it, it’s okay if I’m not.
The last few months have brought about the change I mentioned in a recent post. I left my job of nearly two years and entered into uncharted territory by accepting a position in sales. This required a complete industry change. Before I go any further I will say it was a long thought out change and one that I don’t believe I will ever regret. However, leaving was humbling.
In my pursuit of perfection I believe my head was in the clouds, my perception of myself was quite off from what I was told on my way out. That’s not an easy thing to hear, admit to and ultimately take responsibility for, especially while it leaked into my ability to keep on top of mother, friend and girlfriend duties (in addition to lacking on posts for stork and sparrow!).
So to those who felt as though they got the short end of the stick these last few months from me, I offer you a public apology. Of course I realize I’m being a bit dramatic but I also know it wouldn’t be the first time – I’ll risk it: To my former team- I’m sorry I wasn’t a better boss and I didn’t fight more for you. To Avery: I’m sorry I didn’t always make healthy lunches, play house, sit down during dinner or read a limitless number of bed time stories to you . To my friends: I’m sorry I didn’t call you to hang out more and be there for you. To the most amazing boyfriend I could ever imagine: I’m sorry I ruined golf night.
The good news here is you’ll notice I referenced taking responsibility for having my head in the clouds. Just a few short years ago this was quite an impossible feat for me. Now equipped with the ability to recognize when change is necessary and to step back from a situation and interpret it through the eyes of what matters most to me, I’ve learned a little in the last few months. Okay, more than a little. (And just when I thought I knew everything.)
So my challenge to you dear readers (and new single-mom posters on Pinterest!) is to accept non-perfection and stare it straight in the face. Like my situation… ask yourself ‘why aren’t I preforming better?’ If you’re in a rut ask yourself, ‘why aren’t things changing?’ And ultimately ask yourself, ‘what can I do about it?’
I did. And I couldn’t be happier… that is of course until the next life lesson comes my way.
Check out ‘Kid Friendly?’ for our long (and I mean looong ((another apology)) awaited review of two awesome products from Tollytots.com! Mine and Avery’s faves?: Toddler Rapunzel and the Ride ‘n Drive Shopping Cart!